Weight Loss Program THAT ACTUALLY WORKS!

Friends, fellow countrymen, brothers and sisters, lent me your ears!

Simple, Fast 40-Day Weight Loss routine that is guaranteed to work!

The results will make you feel like you've resurrected from the dead!

  1. Eat one full meal and two smaller meals (that do not add up to one meal) each day.
  2. Abstain from meats every Friday.
  3. Don't snack!
  4. Don't eat any chips, desserts, or similar foods.
  5. If someone offers you something more, politely refuse.
  6. No pain, no gain (actually, I mean loss)! Ignore the painful spasms that might occur in your stomach from this routine! Get some extra "graces" points by offering it up! Also, try to ignore the annoying rumbling side effects the lack of food might cause.
  7. Allow yourself to indulge every Sunday. However, if at all possible, try to stick as closely to the routine as possible so going back to it on Monday isn't as hard.
  8. On the last Friday before the 40 days are done, crank it up and do number 1 AND 2 for the day!
  9. Keep this up for 40 days!
  10. Celebrate with a big ham dinner on the Sunday after the 40 days! Don't eat too much!
I hope you Catholic readers out there got it... Hope you're having a fruitful Lent!


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